A Big Brother's Request

A few weeks ago, we joined my family for a church service where my niece, Ellie, was performing her Christmas program. Things get pretty wild in the row we occupy with all the little ones but Gavin was quite content entertaining his cousin, Sophie, with books and treats. He absolutely adores her!

As we were leaving he tells us, "I want to a baby sister. I want one just like Sophie." Of course I could feel my heart melting while Nate's blood pressure was simultaneously rising. Then he wanted to know if we could start asking Jesus for one and the car got really, really quiet. He never did get his question answered.

This isn't the first time that he's made the request for another baby and it's not the first time we've (I've) thought about adding to our little family of four. However, I am cautiously guarding my heart. It would be way too easy to slip back into those old feelings - wanting something so terribly bad, that I'm not even sure I can have, and all in my timing and under my circumstances. Most of you know that our journey was the absolutle opposite of that (and through that I learned ALOT about myself and trusting God's plans). And although we were finally blessed with a healthy, but eventful, pregnancy with Breck, the road was extremely long and difficult. Nate and I still avoid the topic of more children all together simply because it was so hard on our relationship, and ultimatley our marriage.

Some days I long for another baby and some days I am more than content with the boys that God has been blessed us with. Nate has expressed the same although his percentages of each probably vary quite a bit with mine :-) For now, we have decided to let things happen, if they do, and not to fret about the things that are out of our hands anyway...



My sister and I are blessed...This is our brood with one on the way (hers, not mine!). Notice where Sophie is sitting?
 

By the way, I did inform Gavin that even though he wants a baby sister, that doesn't necessarily mean that it would be a girl. I think he's fine with it either way. Not too long ago, he mentioned that he misses holding Breckie in his lap like when he was a baby. Is it possible that my six year old has baby fever?! That's just his tender little heart talking again!