I'm Not Gonna Lie...

I'm not gonna lie, having a broken leg sucks big time. When you break your leg you quickly realize that you no longer have any privacy or independence whatsoever. It's not fun to be dependent on somebody else to get you what you need, help you take a shower, go shopping, or help you get up the stairs. It's also not very fun to have everyone know the last time you showered, what you will eat for supper, or what you have or do not have in your refrigerator or cupboards.

It's been nearly seven weeks since our little "normal" life has been turned upside down. We are making it, but it's not easy. We've suffered a few emotional breakdowns (from everyone in our house) but we're hanging in there. I am slowly gaining some of my independence back, which feels really good. I've been back to work for two weeks working four hour days and am even driving myself there. I am now able to do my own laundry and do most of the cleaning again, which oddly enough, feels good too.

But it sucks that I can't be enjoying these nice days going for walks and playing outdoors with my little man. It sucks that there is SO MUCH I'd like to get down outside but can't! It sucks that our entire basement is STILL under construction and that there are so many things on my extremely long to-do list that I would LOVE to tackle. It sucks that I have my new curtains and rods and all the new decor waiting for our living rooms walls to be painted. If you know me at all, you can understand how crazy it is for me to be sitting on the couch letting all of these things go. It is not in my nature to be content doing nothing when there is so much to be done. I must say this is a time of building character in me. It's not easy but it sure makes it easier knowing that my little boy and baby-to-be are safe and sound. I will have time to get to that extremely long list one of these days. But for now, I am counting my blessings.

Every time I drive by the "scene of the accident" I can't help but imagine how bad things could have been. I still play through our incident in my mind sometimes and wonder how it all happened so perfectly. The fact that when I flew off the ATV, I landed in the gravel of an approach and didn't land on the road and break my arm or wrist too (or head for that matter). And the fact that Gav stayed on when I flew off and so perfectly maneuvered the ATV into the approach missing the ditch, a high line pole, and a big electrical box. When I tell Gavin that God sent his angels that day to protect him, he wonders why God didn't send some for Mommy too. Little does he know, they were there for Mommy too.

So although I've been ranting about how bad this sucks, I have a pretty good idea of how bad things could really be sucking right now.

So with that, I will continue to suck it up for this too, shall pass.